Blizzard of Odd…
Posted on January 25, 2005 at 11:15 am | No Comments
First, semi-obligatory mp3 content: Death Cab for Cutie’s cover of Julian Cope’s World Shut Your Mouth, along with the original (and fuller) studio version of Title And Registration. And now, on to the snowy stuff…
So we’re dug out and I’m back at my office after a forced work-from-home day… which consisted of alternately shoveling, working, more shoveling, finding a snowplow guy, working, and figuring out how to deal with our raving lunatic of a neighbor. It wasn’t just a blizzard of snow, it was a blizzard of crazy.
The next-door nutjob actually came out of her place, red-faced and fists-raised, to start swearing at the nice Russian woman and her son, who live in the other end unit and were out shoveling. She seriously said “I’m going sue all your asses! I’m going to get all of you pig f**kers!!”. We’re talking frothing-at-the-mouth, full-on-shaking dementia. Her socially-inept sidekick boyfriend actually had to drag her back inside. Nutty!
It doesn’t end there, though. The freak actually called Amie’s boss, and left two rambling messages about how she’s going to “do everything she can to get her real estate license revoked” !! What th’?!? Independent of the massive implications such an act would have if Amie’s boss wasn’t totally cool, the messages are pretty funny, well, in a scary-somebody-needs-counseling kinda way. I’d post ’em here but I’ll save ’em for court. Yes, the mutant has crossed a line, and it’s war. Lawyers are on the case, restraining orders are being arranged, she’s goin’ down. Those two phone calls and her in-the-face freakout put us all over the edge of tolerance. As Yngwie said: “You’ve unleased the &**&^# Fury!”
Funny side notes: While driving the treacherous roads to the supermarket with the Russian husband (his was the only car dug out at the time, and we had to go for supplies), I stupidly said: “This snow is nuts! Have you ever seen anything like this?!”.
He pauses, looks at me, and deadpans: “I come from Siberia”.
Classic. We both got a good laugh outta that one. Talk about asking the wrong guy.
Later on that night, after the craziness of the day subsided, Amie and I were relaxing inside when the doorbell rang. For a moment I thought it might be the freak-job wielding one of her “can I sell you a” ginsu knives, but fortunately it was someone from MASSPIRG, looking for a donation for their latest campaign. Now, normally our finances would make me find a comfortable way to say “sorry”, but the girl seemed really sincere, and plus… she was trudging door to door in a billion feet of snow. Not fun. So I cut her a small check.
As she was waiting inside for me to do that (and of course, getting kiss-attempts from Nina), Amie asked her: “Hey, you didn’t try to talk to the lady next door, did you?”
And the MASSPIRG canvasser responds, “Yeah, she actually yelled at me!”. I couldn’t help but start cracking up. And y’know what she yelled at her, through her closed window? “How dare you come to my house at a time like this!!”. A time like this? Uhhhh… can you say “koo-koo”?
Anyway, here are a few photos from the Blizzle of Oh-Fizzle. Sorry, no pictures of our neighbor nutjob. Amie’s car is actually in a couple of these pictures, not that you can see it under all the freakin’ white stuff.
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